I Battled A Giant Otter

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Not a giant tiger, or pangolin, or even giant pygmies, but an otter.  A fucking otter.  It was a hard day at the sprocket factory and now I gotta go home to my bitch wife and criminal children and I need to escape.  Oh, look here, Men is doing a story on Battling A Giant Otter.  Wow, that sure will make up for all the shit I have to eat at work and my 4 years in the Army Air Corps sweeping out the PX at Camp Loser Alaska, giant otter tales are at a premium.  Maybe everyone will go to sleep early and I can break out the coconut oil and really make a night of it.

Men, December 1953.  Cover art by Wil Hulsey.

Wil Hulsey is the king of animal attack art, this example from Man's Life September 1956 has to be the best known men's magazine cover of all time, primarily because Frank Zappa owned a copy and used it as an inspiration for one of his albums -


This otter cover should be sub-titled Goddammit don't shoot me!  That lamp the man is flailing the otter with is filled with pressurized kerosene, the scene inside the tent would look like a German Expressionist version of the Triangle Shirtwaist fire and all three of the mammals here are about to burst into oily orange flames and run shrieking from the crematorium canvas deathtrap into the flickering darkness as pistol cartridges explode amid the stench of 19th century whale oil substitute, with any luck at all they will find the nearby river but time, as they say, is of the essence.
Anyone camping with a cased pillow and sheets under mosquito netting while wearing pajama bottoms deserves whatever happens to them.  Both these guys look suspiciously gay, and I think this is a vivid instance of 'ottering' getting out of hand.
 
I am just so damn funny!

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