Fresh out of the Marines, 1982.  My wife conspires with everyone to "normalize" me, to make me one of them.  Naturally, I maintained my purity and point of view.  At the time, I was surrounded by crazy people!  Fortunately, things have calmed down since then.  I've changed, for the better.  I mean, who listens to Kiss?

     On my journey to enlightenment, I have come to the gates of Horn and Ivory.  The demons guarding them are absolutes, one Always lies, the other Always tells the truth.  As I arrive they are having a dispute.  It turns out that I may have to wait for admittance.  I will keep y'all updated as developments ensue.

     I always thought that I would make a great king or what have you.  Here one can see my rule degenerate into paranoia and cruelty.  As I order the execution of a blameless and loyal messenger, my Grand Vizier is making his move.  Although blessed with a full treasury, loyal subjects and awesome military power, my suspicion has allowed those of the unscrupulous persuasion to take advantage of my youth and inexperience to further their own nefarious plans.  This does not bode well for me or the Lapin Kingdom.      I will certainly end up hanging by my heels in front of some gas station.

     Here I take an expensive diving knife and behold! it is transformed into a cheap kris.  I like making things, often out of better things.  Here lies a parallel or two.

     But the hope that was in Rainsford's brain when he climbed died, for he saw in the shallow valley that General Zaroff was still on his feet.  But Ivan was not.  The knife, driven by the recoil of the springing tree, had not wholly failed...      "Nerve, nerve, nerve!"  he panted, as he dashed along.  A blue gap showed between the trees dead ahead.  Ever nearer drew the hounds.  Rainsford forced himself on toward that gap.  He reached it.  It was the shore of the sea.  Across a cove he could see the gloomy gray stone of chateau.  Tweny feet below him the sea rumbled and hissed.  Rainsford hesitated.  He heard the hounds.       Then he leaped far out into the sea.                                                            Richard Connell     

     In my dream last night, I was taken to a clifftop and shown the entire world, bright blue and dazzling in it's beauty.  My guide would only identify himself as a light bringer.  If only I would just bow to him then I could be master of all I saw.  I kept asking him his name but he refused to tell me and finally told me that he was an adversary.      "After all, in a game you must have an adversary to play, yes?"  But this made me nervous and I decided that anyone who would offer so much to someone like me must have unlimited resources.  That would mean that giving, whatever, to me meant that it was nothing to them.  Nothing.  That is what such an offer would be and I refused.  He snarled and pushed me off the cliff and, terrified, I woke up.      Just because I know what I am worth does not mean that I have no pride.

     Bad, bad, bad.  What a nasty bunny.  He really needs to quit reading and appreciate the finer things in life, like finishing a drawing and not being so hateful.       How can someone be so mean?  At least finish the thing before posting it.  Someone stayed up to late watching the Count of Monte Cristo.

     Here we see the penultimate scene of Public Enemy.  I have always thought that James Cagney was a great actor, and never so much as in this Warner masterpiece. I'm forever blowing bubbles, to use an expression!

     The Prof and I watch a commercial for a gladius shaped machete.  This ain't  your ordinary garden tool.  I need at least 4, not to mention the Legionnaire panoply.  TTFN!

    Eventually I will figure every thing out, if I have the time.  The Lapins thump slowly but exceedingly fine.  'Nuff said?

     It hits hard in middle age.  I did all I was supposed to, I married, I had a career, I nailed her at least twice a day and usually more.  Ten years wasted.  I did not want children but that was not my choice.  I could have at least stayed in the military as much as I despise some of the people who run it.      At least I have smoked and drank more than I would have if I had died when I was supposed to.  That is something, I guess.      I have my family and my cats.  Only the cats need me.      The dead dream, you know, and their dreams are uneasy.

     Yesterday was a day of reflection.  I looked at some of the more delightful furry comics, and realized how youth dependent the future is.  The above is an imaginary conversation between two secure yet aging men of confidence.  The rabbit has temporarily abandoned reality and is edging toward delusion.  The challenge under discussion is some unspecified feat of strength, probably a bare knuckle encounter brought on by hurt pride. He is lucky to have such a good friend.

     I cannot always be thinking of the big things.  Sometimes what is very big to me does not matter to the world.  But what care I of the world?  So various, so beautiful, so new- and I am just standing by for the great and eternal darkness.  Our loss does not impact on one another.

     I have carried my baton in my knapsack since birth.  Due to age and opportunity, I will not be getting the chance to earn it.  What a shame.  I can turn all this around, but without an opportunity slaves can not aspire to the purple.  Sic transit Gloria!

     The light has reflected off of a very erased picture.  Run to ground, the wolf surrenders but he will die.  The faction leader calls for everyone to move in, and his backup prepares for the coup de main.   This is a sad picture of a sad event.  But Jesus!  These weres are a fucking nuisance!

    Silliness.

     Last night me and a long dead friend were swimming in some crystalline clear river, presumably on the other side, and were very happy to see each other again.  The time spent over there had sharpened his already considerable beauty, and his strength was that of a dozen.  However, a Burmese brown python came swimming up, and the river and bank began to fade.  I tried to stay but it was time to go.  My friend said something and just smiled.  I take this to mean that we will meet again but this could be a trick.  I can no longer distinguish between gates of horn or ivory, not at all.

                                Sheer wannabe fantasy.  Tsk, tsk.  'Course, that is what this site is all about.  Mirror, mirror, on the wall...

     "Rainsford", called the general,  "if you are within the sound of my voice, as I suppose you are, let me congratulate you.  Not many men know how to make a Malay mancatcher.  Luckily, for me, I too have hunted in Malacca.  You are proving interesting, Mr. Rainsford.  I am going now to have my wound dressed.  It's only a slight one.  But I shall be back.  I shall be back."                                              Richard Connell, "The Most Dangerous Game"

     I met my friend Johnny Eye at Strange Brew coffee shop at Manchaca and Stassney today.  Nice place, loads of personality, interesting crowd, very bad, weak coffee.  We talked gulf war, Sleuth, old friends and theater.  An extremely pretty girl with Elvis and Willie tattooed on her left arm asked for a light and I spent more time paying attention to her than conversing.  This is Austin for you, 100 in the shade and we are drinking hot coffee.    

Billy Bunny, single, male, known dissident, finds a cub of genuine feline stock.  A pure feline has not been seen since the plague made the ungrafted human stock nonviable.  The rules are clear, no animal of the graft shall be allowed to remain among the Rabbit clans.  It is well known that the ones who keep such beasts will fall to the enhanced telepathic powers of the cubs.  This goes double for feline cubs, or in Old English, kittens.  All such animals will be turned in for instant eradication.   Billy is already under scrutiny from the Lapin elders for his outspoken views on co-existence (none) and his eventual place in Lapin society (first).  Some suspect forbidden juicing.  If he keeps the carn baby, this will be a perfect excuse for an ostracism.  Yet deception comes easily to all rabbits, and this one is very devious, even capable.  A crisis is sure to ensue!      The stage is set for a collision. 

      Frederick Courteney Selous , 4 January 1917, shot and killed while leading his force against Lettow-Vorbeck's askaris.  He was 66 years old.  What a great man.

     Hauling in crabs, Conn harbor, Aransas Pass.  I love the Gulf coast and spend a lot of time fishing and such when I am down there.  

     There are choices that have to be made.  When it comes to self-starting, I must bribe myself to see results or I will not act at all.  Threats mean nothing, but amusement everything.  Need, not greed, is my prime motivation.                                           Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.                                                                                                                    

      Roger Degueldre put his life on the line to avenge the sell out of the pied-noirs by de Gaulle.  Utterly fearless, this splendid man was promoted from the ranks to Lieutenant of the Foreign Legion.  A survivor of Dien Bien Phu.      Roger Hercule Gustave Degueldre May 19 1925 - July 6 1962,  Knight of the Legion of Honor. Leader.  Hero.  Killer.  Savage.  Brave.  Tough. Degueldre being decorated by General Massu.  The civil war in Algeria was unbelievably ferocious and the starting point for today's problems with Arab terrorism. Warrior. He was arrested on 7 April 1962, condemned to death on 28 June and executed by firing squad in the Fort d'Ivery near Paris on 7 July. Three officers appointed to command the firing squad refused and were demoted. In the event only one bullet from the 11-man firing squad hit him. The officer in charge emptied his revolver into Degueldre and had to get a second weapon to finish the execution.   When God made this guy he forgot to p

     "The warrior, a wolf of iron nerve, was forced back step by step, but exacting a price in blood every inch of the way".                                             

   I need two things from our society- fresh coffee and unlimited tobacco.  I do not need the police, EMS, politicians or protection from imaginary enemies.  If something happens and those entities could have saved me, tuff.  I won't squawk.  Our leaders are so shortsighted and stupid that we cannot recover from this financial catastrophe.  We can recover the respect (fear) that we were once held in by the world with an American Churchhill, but there ain't one.  Of course, as we go so goes the earth.       One can see what has happened to the first world by looking around and watching how many people depend on electronics to avoid thinking.  If they are not using their hand held brain upgrades, they will be chattering away on a communicator as if life itself depended on whispers in the aether.  To quote a genius writing team, our society is so much pornographic Muzak.      All of this could have been avoided had our leaders realized, or cared, that a chaotic system

     I spent my summers at various YMCA and Boy Scouts camp.  I admired and listened to every counselor and adult that I came in contact with.  We usually stayed in tents with wooden floors, and to this day the smell of treated canvas rockets me back all those years.  I took it for granted that those older guys were concerned about me and wanted to teach me things I needed to know.  I wanted to grow up so I could be as cool as they were.      I did not realize that I was growing up in the last days of a collapsing society.  My values now were my values then.  I believe in treating every single person on the square, rewarding achievement and punishing bad behavior.  I believe it is the duty of the single male to put his life second to the young or helpless.  I care more about reading than anything else in my life, family excepted.  I love the outside, it sure is a shame that where I live is so damn hot during the day.  This is the Cri de Coeur for today.  Abayo.

  In summer, central Texas is unbearably hot.  At nightime people come alive.  Sitting under the stars and listening to music is what we live for.  Beer and weed add to it. Pictured is a mythical day in an alternate life where temperatures top out at about 70.   This is on the bank and there is no crowd.  Soon we shall couple like rabbits.   Does any one remember Tony the Tiger?  He wa probably the most civilized tiger of all time, being a vegan and all.  They're great!  The poor guy must have been fucking starved.

     I saw a dead raccoon in the road today.  They are so beautiful, at least alive, anyways.  In the midst of life we are in death.  Time is an illusion, the universe has already collapsed and gone cold, we just can't see it from our place on the totem pole.  The rabbit is quoting from Leonard Cohen.

     Weapons add dignity to what would otherwise be a vulgar brawl.  The M1927A1 T-Gun has earned it's place in American history.  Complete with Cutts compensator and Blish lock, this over engineered machine delivers.  (at 450 per)  Illegal or not, Scribbles believes in honest dealings and right action.  Hah!  Just kidding.  Get there first with the most.       Inspiration for todays lesson was provided by channel 7.2, Austin, TX.  Yesterday was, for some reason, a war film day.  If the reader has not seen "Hell is for Heroes", then for the love of God and Country, don't.  Lots of weapons, and lots of Jeeps.  I love both of those things.  Bob Newhart was shoehorned into this movie and I do mean shoehorned.  Steve Mcqueen, Fess Parker, Bobby Darin and James Coburn round off this well filmed bad movie.  Also last night was the "Diary of Anne Frank", in case there was someone out there that still wished to see a film come hell or high water.  My favorite

     Found "Heat of the Sun" on net-flix and watched that for a while.  I really like this series and have not seen any of it since it first showed here in Austin.  Africa is just as interesting as it can get.  If anyone wonders what kicked off the doomed "Mau-Mau" emergency then they should read about conditions in Kenya at the time.  Two days ago this site recieved a hit from Zimbabwe.  When I think about how that country is going, I figure Mugabe himself was reading this. 

     Lim Poon, d. 1991, age 72.  Part of the inspiration for the book referred to in yesterday's post, The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester.  Mr. Poon was seen several times as he floated on his raft and it is believed that he was not picked up because it was thought he was a decoy for a waiting U-boat.  The other inspiration, plot wise, was the Count Of Monte Cristo.  I very much recommend all three of these stories.       I spent the day on the Gulf of Mexico and I  would not wish to be in this situation for three hours let alone 4 months.

     Today I don't feel like history or anything like that.  Fragile shells of flesh, we are but chips on the flood.  To paraphrase Eric Ambler, the notion that we are in charge of our own destiny is the basis of all good drama. 

     Here we see the end of the Third Punic War.  Scipio Aemilianus weeps as he orders the destruction of Carthage.  He is said to have thought that some day Rome would suffer the same fate.      For some reason, the Romans decided to eradicate Carthage instead of reducing them to allies subject to Roman rules.  As it was, the disarmed Carthaginians put up one hell of a final fight, against a poorly organized and trained Rome.  That Aemilianus was able to do as well as he did shows that he was a chip off the old block.  Sic Transit Cartago!

     October 15 1946 Landsberg prison.  A game of basketball is faked to conceal the noise of the gallows being erected for the major Nazis sentenced to death.  Early in the morning, only an hour or so before his hanging, Hermann Goering removes a glass container from a cut-down rifle cartridge, places it in his teeth and bites down.  This in full view of the guard.  No one has any idea where he got the poison from.  Several people have confessed to giving it to him but they have all been proven liars.  An American officer (Lt. Jack Wheelis) has been accused of procuring the poison for Goering with slightly more probability but this is not proven and the case is weak.  ("The Mystery of Herman Goering's Suicide", Ben Swearingen).      Goering, a person of proven bravery and very great leadership ability, was a moral coward who was the one person who could have removed Hitler and ended the war.  He also signed the final solution order given to Heydrich.  Other than t

     Obergefreiter (Lance corporal) Adolf Hitler steps out of his bunker and survives an incoming shell that obliterates the bunker and everyone in it.  He was apparently protected from on high.

     There is nothing that I will not walk away from in a heartbeat if it betrays me.  Like proud words, I wear long boots and when you call me back, I do not listen.     

  I abhor water so I am sitting by a fearless crane that would not move even when I rebuked him. 

     Early work about 5/12.  No reason to post this at all.  I think I was throwing scraps away and decided to keep this.  I think.