With A Heavy Heart

Some of my carved wooden things, mostly animals. 3 of these are made from soapstone or something.  The ears sticking up are those of a jackalmorph.  Japanese dolls, stone turtle, African comb.  African head.  Lion.  Cat and dog.  Two things that look like salt and pepper shakers that aren't, damnme if I know what they are.  The word "tourist" comes to mind.

 I am going to put them all on E-bay.

 I have two sets of Ubangi spoon and forks, and three camels.

 Mocked in death.  These are stuffed frogs with musical instruments.  I really should burn them, but I ain't gonna.

Mischa, aka Meemee, the world's most adorable mean little cat.  NFS.

Beau, or Bobo, quite over his ringworm and almost a cat now.  He is a darling!

Someone went through a lot of trouble to carve the coathanger in the shape of a cougar.  I may have paid a dollar for it.

Anteater, hardwood monkey, elephants of teak and ivory from Ceylon.

Lovely paper mache tiger, bas relief peacock door ornament from Vietnam, strange humanoid possibly from the Caribbean, mahogany rhino and warthog, jointed wooden snake.  Cute potbellied zebra.

The day after I bought the tiger I found an elephant from the same set and did not buy him because his back was broken.  I should have sprung for it. https://digital.library.upenn.edu/women/williams/rabbit/rabbit.html
Goddamn but I am sorry about abandoning that elephant.

Lovely carved duck, egret from a water buffalo horn, two excellent ducks, oiled Japanese parasol, perhaps a child's.  Another rhino.  Very well carved Irish tray.

Peacock from a better angle.  It is made from smaller pieces glued to flat wood.  Handsome but useless.  (Sigh).  I know the feeling!

Shuo Lao, an African head.  Rowing men in boat that are activated by turning a handle to drive rod and cam system.  The egret has a chipped beak, but so what?  The price was right.

Elephant family with soapstone Buddha.  The elephants are an ashtray set, 1940-70.  (?)  And here we see the back of Shou Lao, God of Immortality.  There was an excellent lime tree behind where Buddha is but hurricane Harvey did a number on this yard.  As far as limes go we got ungotz.  Behind the slat fence the tree was resting in the pool.  No one gets scurvy swimming here, I tell you what!

Monkey, coconut ladle, soapstone monkeys.  (See, hear, speak, and do no evil.  Did you know there were 4?  Do no evil is covering his organs.  I mean really!  Sex is evil now?  Only if men are involved, I guess).

So we like sex and that makes men predators.  Ask yourself, why is the world population growing so fast?  Are all those women rape victims?  I would not let most feminists sit on my furniture without putting down heavy towels first.  And that would be out in the barn.

Duck, signed by superb artist, rhino, Indian elephant and baby dragging teak logs.  My next door neighbor, Terry Fisher, was an elephant trainer in the San Antonio Zoo for 15 years.  He also plays a wicked guitar.  African head in foreground. That is the most abused Briggs and Stratton engine ever in the upper right. 

Gold leaf inlaid dancer on red wood, some sort of octagonal box thing lid.  Chinese, maybe a New Year's something?  Too small for a regular rice container, does not smell of tea, I mean WTF is it?
How elaborate are Chinese ammo boxes?

The obverse of the above.  So this is what illiteracy feels like.  As we can see, the lid covers a cylinder, not an octagonal box.  Who knows what dire portents and imprecations are written here?
To quote Harlan Ellison, never use toothpicks from a Chinese restaurant.  (Y Is For Yggdrasil,  From A To Z In The Chocolate Alphabet, written in a store window).

Clever retro 3-D plywood Sci/Fi wall hangings.

Elegant pelican. 

Two inexpensive ukes and a playable child's balalaika.

4 bucks is what I paid for these.

Very nice toucan, some dark hardwood but not mahogany, I think.
I just got off the net.  This is probably from Belize and the wood is Zericote.

Destined for my front yard.  Not a carving or ceramic.  http://mentalfloss.com/article/502283/when-vlad-impaler-repelled-invasion-forest-corpses   Wild hogs are a problem here in Texas and  they do nobody any good..
This is the Beast from the Forest, and in no time flat I will have the neighbor's boys dancing around the skull, painting their faces, and chanting savage atavisms while neglecting their chores.
Can I come and live with you?

Two ducks and a monkey.  The majolica ape was once part of a set of 3, four in the orient, apparently.

Ceramic.

Japanese court dolls, exquisite painted faces, very well done robes.  I identified the mon on the guy's robe but I will have to find it again.  It is possible that these were made in the internment camps during the war. 

I love all these things.  Everything here I bought very cheap, that is how I play the game.  I don't want to get rid of them.  I anthropomorphize everything especially animals and dolls.  But I have no room in my "new" place (built c. 1930) and I feel it is time to let this stuff go, just like I did with hundreds of my books.  But books are for reading, and if they are not being read nothing is as useless or takes up more room than bound paper.  Ask anyone who ever had to deal with their parent's National Geographics.  Besides, words are not just cheap but free.  I no longer have to keep reference books to win arguments, I never argue anymore and I can find anything I want on the internet.  Print has gone the way of cuneiform and clay.

Comics are a different story entirely.

Au revoir!

 Drawing by Edmund-Francois Calvo.