Shadow Puppet

Today was cloudy.  I got out of bed late, I had trouble sleeping last night as usual.  My cats were complaining about their late breakfast so I wrapped a sheet around me and went to get them their food.  After putting the portions in bowls I set them before each of them and got out of their way.  Ever since my boy cat Beau died I have more leisure in the morning to feed the kitties, that big bundle of love would intertwine my feet and figure 8 around them so that I could barely walk.  As I have very large feet this would cause me to stumble.  He was so affectionate that I would lock him out of the kitchen while I made coffee, I use a French press so I have to boil water.  This morning the blood had crusted around my nose where the big guy punched me at the guitar show yesterday, it hurt like hell and I was going to have to bleach my sheets when I washed today.  As I poured my first cup of coffee Meemers left her food in a huff, she does not like the cheap canned type which was all I had.  Precious moved over to her bowl and started eating it with alacrity. 
I turned on the radio and sat on the porch with my coffee and cigarette, the news was depressing and there was a story on the new move underway to forbid modified humans to live in cities.  As Paulie and I are the only ones left that I know of I wondered what brought this up.
"Stay away from my kid, rabbit, or next time I'm going to hurt you".  The punch had almost knocked me out and although the crowd of people around me seemed shocked I noticed that no one was helping me up.  The man who hit me walked away with the little girl, she was the one that came up to me and asked if I was the Easter Bunny, I bent down to hear her better when I found myself on my back in the wet grass.  I didn't know what happened at first.
I picked myself up and got in my car and left.  Too bad, the man on the guitar was a local genius who could play almost any type of music imaginable, he had just finished one of my favorite rockabilly pieces when I got knocked down.  I thought I could mix with the others as I have had no problems with real humans in several months, I thought wrong.  I drove home and checked the mail box, nothing except some flyers and a reminder to check in with my case officer on Monday.  I threw all of that away and went inside to get a beer and a towel for my bleeding nose.  The last time this happened my assailant grabbed both my ears and one of them tore, I guess I got lucky and was spared that problem, again.
The yard behind me was being mowed, the man mowing waved to me and I waved back.  It seems that the lower on the social scale someone was the easier they found it to accept me.  In spite of my medal and the glowing news stories of my old unit I get no credit for trying, most people ignore me when I go out in public.  I gave up explaining that I was as human as they are, the modifications happened in a laboratory for the needs of the front line.  It did not help that the government announced that all the modified warriors were criminals who volunteered for the program instead of serving long prison sentences or being executed, something I did not find out was a lie until a fairly short time ago.  I used to think that I should shoot myself for being such an awful person.  Of course I don't own a gun.
When the last attacker grabbed and tore my ear I almost killed him, I had been modified with the rabbit strain to enhance my speed and no normal human can swap punches with me.  I was very angry and only because someone knocked me out with a fence post did that individual get away with his life.  My case officer bailed me out and delivered an hour long lecture on tolerance and lawbreaking to me, that I was in very hot water for being a bully and was very lucky, this time, to stay out of isolation.  That scared me and I promised not to hurt anyone again.
I got another cup of coffee and watched the mockingbird defend his territory around the pool.  The pool was part of the house and a lot of people were upset when such a desirable vacation property was given to me, but the location was dictated by the nearness of the police and the relative isolation I would have if I stayed in the back yard.  As I understand it the former owner had died in the house and was not discovered for months, so it had been on the market untouched for several years.  I have never noticed anything amiss except for a large dark stain on the floor in front of the bathroom.  I've seen worse.
I looked at the sunflowers I planted on Beau's grave and then started crying.  I miss him very much and it has been a difficult week.  I hope no one saw me, weakness is shameful to me.  Sometime today I have to go grocery shopping at the one store I am allowed in, what with my swollen nose and red eyes I was going to be just that bit more conspicuous.  When I got through with that I thought I would work on the guitar I am trying to fix, it needs sanding before I varnish it.  I will watch the sun go down over the water as I pet my kitties, and maybe tonight I will dream again of what could be.
I wish I had someone to talk to, I guess I ain't so tough.

Oh, well.  Even the weariest river winds somewhere safe to sea.

 

 Dreams are what I have left.

(Garth Williams, The Adventures Of Benjamin Pink}