Judgement Day


Back around March, my outdoor cat Shorty had a litter of 4 kittens above my bathroom in our attic.  After she moved them into the garage, I snagged the little fuzzballs and brought them inside.  Since then they have lived in my bedroom, inconvenient but I did not have much of a choice.  Then I could not grab Shorty, and when I finally managed to trap her she was with kitties again.  I brought her in and scheduled an abortion*, but she had them the day before the procedure was to be done.  The bedroom became a mess, it was like living in a catbox.  For months I worked with a local cat rescue, Cat Tales Rockport, and yesterday I put 3 vaccinated and neutered kittens in a van to be taken to San Antonio where they will be loved and adopted.  Normally, other than being sad about saying goodbye to them, I would have rejoiced.  But there has been a development.
Sunday night Muffins died.  Out of the blue, she never showed any sign of sickness or distress until the last few hours of her life.  The next morning another, Daisy, died as well.  I buried them both in a corner of the back yard.  That evening Mittens went.  3 dead cats in about 18 hours.  I was up at dawn burying her.  Now I'm standing by for Tiger to go.  He is not doing well and I'm surprised he is still with me.  I had him out to the vet yesterday but there is not anything that can be done at this stage.  It appears that this disease is endemic here and may have been what killed my darling Beau. 
Having all those cats together was not the best plan.  I have been sick with sorrow since Sunday and can barely type today.  I prayed that I would be able to find a solution for all those cats and it seems my prayers were answered. 
I am guilty of false kindness.  For months I rejoiced in all those kittens, I slept under a blanket of cats and was in 7th Heaven.  All I can say is that they had the chance to become adult cats albeit not for long.  The only excuse I have is that I have never seen something like this.  I hope my kitties are playing in the meadow by the Rainbow Bridge, and I hope that I can forgive myself someday.  What's done is done. 
I have raised many cats and have never had one die of disease except Beau, and now I think it was not vaccinating him that may have doomed him.  Once, in Marine boot camp, we were standing in formation outside the chow hall and there was a tiny kitten calling for help by the window.  That I did not pick him up and cuddle him shows how strictly we were disciplined.  That I wanted to do so shows how extreme my love of cats was and is.  Of course someone took him, most Marines are not monsters.  I have never forgotten that.  That was a kitten I saw for a few seconds, the cats I raised to be fat and sassy for months are burned into my soul forever.  When I took the crew yesterday to go to the adoption center there was a lady with two kittens to send who was crying her eyes out.  I felt very bad for her, but was on the edge of hysteria myself so I didn't say anything to her.  Because of Ms. Gayley Opem, director of Cat Tales Rescue Rockport, I was able to give 3 wonderful cats a chance at a real life.
We are overrun with strays here and I think the marshy makeup of much of Aransas County breeds virulence. 
May God bless and watch over Daisy, Muffins, and Mittens as they make their way home.  I will always love you guys.
Amazing that I am still here after having my heart torn out.

*The idea of killing unborn kittens is anathema to me, but better never to taste life than have it ended at Animal Control.  The ones I scheduled to die are happy little cats now, and the ones I was going to keep are gone.  Bizarre how things play out sometimes.

 
Tiger died last night.  He will spend the night in the bathroom that he was born above.  He was an excellent cat and I miss him very much.

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