What A Darling Boopersnoop!
Billy is such an adorably cute bunny! Now, he does
have a few drawbacks, such as laziness, superstitions, uncontrolled jealousies, a predilection for drugs and
alcohol, vanity, ignorance of anything that requires the
slightest trace of discipline to learn, no accomplishments to speak of,
delusions of adequacy, indolence beyond all belief, rages, cruelty, thoughtlessness, self love,
public urination, compulsive whistling, a vague but discernible bad
attitude, uncontrolled flatulence, a marked aversion to soap and water,
talking loudly in movie theaters, ditto restaurants, often passing out
on the couch with his upper plate next to the overflowing ashtray,
pants and soiled underwear pulled down around his ankles. He snores
like a freight train and the smell is awful. He steals my cigarettes and leaves stained and oily magazines lying around featuring naked bunnies in leather underwear. Last Halloween a mother and her kids
saw him unconscious in front of the TV and the cops showed up. I have
been to court over that twice and now my lawyer won't return my calls.
Billy told a reporter from the Huffington Post I had been making him run laps when he was not washing dishes
or cleaning up after me. Yesterday I was severely beaten by a mob of
angry women wearing Me Too shirts. I have no money left and the doctor
says I could very well lose that eye.
Other than these flaws, minor and inconsequential, this is one sweet flufflebutt! Can he come live with you?
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